Nice jokes
1. Santa Singh walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and, with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs him that he's too drunk and he could not serve him anything.
Santa is briefly surprised, then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool and staggers out the front door.
A few minutes later, the Santa Singh stumbles in the SIDE door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over and, still politely - but more firmly, refuses service to him due to his inebriation, and asks him to leave.
Santa looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.
A few minutes later, he bursts in through the BACK door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits and belligerently orders a drink. The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds him that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and if he doesn't leave he would call the police!
Santa looks at the bartender, and in hopeless anguish, cries 'MAN! How many bars do you work at?'
2. A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags. 'Where are you going?' he asked.
'To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men that will pay me $400 to do what I do for you for free!'
The man pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing HIS bags.
'What do you think you are doing?' she screamed.
'Going to Las Vegas with you... I want to see how you live on $800 a year!'
3. A man, his wife, and their eight children were waiting at a bus stop. Not long after, a blind man joins the group.
The bus arrives. The blind man and the husband are forced to walk because there's just no more room on the bus.
As they walk together, the tapping of the blind man's cane starts to irritate the other man. Finally, the man says, 'You know, that's pretty irritating. Why don't you put a rubber on the end of that stick?'
The blind man retorts: 'If you'd put a rubber on the end of YOUR stick, we'd both be on that bus.'
4. A lady awoke one morning and discovered her dog was not moving. She called her vet, Dr Santa Singh, who asked her to bring the dog in. After a brief examination, the vet pronounced the dog dead.
'Are you sure?', the distraught woman asked. 'He was a great family pet. Isn't there anything else you can do?'
Dr Santa Singh paused for a moment and said, 'There is one more thing we can do.' He left the room for a moment and came back carrying a large cage with a cat in it. The vet opened the cage door and the cat walked over to the dog. The cat sniffed the dog from head to toe and walked back to the cage.
'Well, that confirms it.' the vet announced. 'Your dog is dead.'
Satisfied that the vet had done everything he possibly could, the woman sighed, 'How much do I owe you?'
'That will be Rs.1100.' the vet replied.
'I don't believe it!!!', screamed the woman. 'What did you do that cost Rs.1100?
'Well', Dr Santa Singh replied, 'it's Rs.100 for the office visit and Rs.1000 for the cat-scan.'
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